Guardians, The (2017)

Checked out a Russian superhero movie called The Guardians. This is, I guess, what happens when really dumb American movies can be made with some technical competence in other countries. Congratulations world… make your own dumb movies.
The film’s most interesting trait is that it seems to have cast Putin as the villain (bald, shirtless, muscles, military pants) and a dude who can turn into a (Russian) bear as one of the heroes. All of the super-powered characters are remnants of the Cold War so there’s a kind of weird Russian patriotism but it also seems very confused. Maybe I’d have to be Russian to get it. Or maybe the script is just bad. I vote for the later but who knows?
Anyhow, the superteam includes the bear-man, a eastern Russian speedster with deadly sickles (but no hammers), a monk who can telekinetically control rocks, and a woman who can turn invisible (but only when it rains). None of these characters are well-defined and are tossed into their first action scene only to lose. So sad. I cared about them so much.
Meanwhile, the villain makes a mess of Moscow while trying to retrieve a cold war anti-Reagan-Star-Wars satellite. Plot. plot plot.
The movie lives and dies by the quality of the off-market visual FX and they are poor to decent to sometimes good. A major mixed bag.
It’s a bad movie. It was an interesting watch just to see sub-par 80s action movies with a bigger (but not great) budget made for a Russian audience. Maybe there’s themes and ideas I’m missing, not being that target audience… but I can’t imagine this is a good movie whoever you are. Maybe a so-bad-its-good movie, I’ll buy that possibility.
Score: 62

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