Hitman’s Bodyguard, The

The new movie The Hitman’s Bodyguard is a buddy action comedy bloated propulsive, loud, dick-swinging showcase for throwback film making. If you told me this movie had been released in the late 80s or early 90s, i’d believe you. It feels like a movie out of time, back when gunshots were loud, action was its own point, and everything exploded. None of this is itself a thumbs up or down on the flick… indeed, it’s a bit of both.
 
The film co-stars Ryan Reynolds as an executive protection agent (bodyguard) and Samual L. Jackson as a hitman. Jackson’s character has the dirt on the evil Belarusian president played by Gary Oldman so Interpol has to get him to the Hague for war crimes trial. But there are plenty of mercenaries and Belaruisan heavies in the way and Reynolds has to get him to court alive. Pretty basic plot and just an excuse for some buddy odd couple team-up banter and plenty of fist fights, gun fights, and car chases.
 
This movie is probably thirty minutes too long since it runs two hours and there’s plenty to chop. There are long dialog sequences that should probably be funnier but they can’t seem to pull off wise-cracking banter and end up with annoying bickering. That’s the first hour but the film pulls through in its second hour with better dialog, character beats, and action.
 
And, yes, the action scenes in this movie are pretty good. They are as deep as a puddle and, as mentioned above, it all feels like a deliberate nods to 80s and 90s action flicks. There’s a particularly impressive car, motorcycle, speed boat chase in the canals of Amsterdam. But generally speaking, everything plays super loud, there’s tons of 4 letter words (hi Sam Jackson), the bad guy has ALL the bad guys working for him, people survive ridiculous crashes, and everything explodes. A lot of this shouldn’t have worked but I think the actors pull off their parts and the action is propulsive and combustive as it needs to be to keep the action driving forward.
 
I can’t say Reynolds and Jackson do a great job because they are basically playing Peak Reynolds and Peak Jackson. They aren’t playing for subtle or original – they are just doing what these two guys do. If that’s good enough, then great. If you’re bored of them, then you should avoid the flick. They do play well together but they are let down a bit by the dialog sometimes… or maybe the editing of their bantering scenes. Some of it feels like padding that runs too long and, as good as they are, they can’t make bickering fun if the dialog isn’t funnier.
 
Salma Hayak is in the movie briefly and she’s amazingly funny. She may even out mother f’er Sam Jackson, at least in terms of MFs-per-minute of screen time. Sure, it’s a bit of the fiery latina cliche but she makes it work. I wish she was in the film more.
 
The movie is filmed well and looks great. It’s mostly set throughout Europe with some great-looking location shooting. They didn’t spend a lot of money on visual effects but they certainly spent it on location, cars, and explosions. They even pulled off at least two stunts I may not have seen before, including one “cool guys walk away from explosions” moment that actually is as cool as the movie thinks.
 
The soundtrack also really works – a great combination of classic rock ‘n roll, swamp rock, R&B, soul, cheesy pop ballads, and even some screamo metal. Great tunes (though some ironic) used to perfection in their scenes.
Look, the movie is dumb and not as funny as it thinks it is, but it is exciting. It pulls that much off. It’s pure gut-level machismo noise and fiery explosions but if it’s done smartly and well enough that it’s worth a look. If you like your action flicks loud and you miss flicks like Lethal Weapon and The Last Boyscout, then this one is for you. Just don’t expect it to be as good as its trying to be because it isn’t. It could be wittier, it could be funnier, and it could be a bit shorter.
Score: 82