Star, The (2017)

Checked out The Star, the new nativity movie starring donkeys. And pigeons. And sheep. But also a baby Jesus, I suppose. You know, just kind of in the background… it’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead for children!!
 
This is a new Christmas animated film starring all the stars (which left half the budget for animation). Stephen Yeun (Glen!), Gina Rodriguez (Jane the Virgin…. playing Mary… huh), Oprah, Zachary Levi, Tyler Perry, Kelly Clarkson, Keenan Michael Key, Mariah Carey, Kristin Chenoweth, Tracy Morgan, Gabriel Iglesias, Anthony Andersen, Aidy Bryant, Kris Kirstofferson, Ving Rhames, Joel Osteen (!), Patricia Heaton… that’s a lot of people for a “why wasn’t this direct to video” animated flick…
 
This movie basically takes a look at the typical nativity scene and asks what if the donkey and the sheep were more important to the story than that Jesus kid. It’s a kiddie cartoon that manages to not be as dopey as It thought it would be… though, to be fair, it has about 87.5% more butt jokes than the actual bible (give or take a percentage). But, hey, I laughed a few times even though I was more often befuddled about why they felt there needed to be a dramatic action scene at the time of Jesus’ birth… if the donkey can’t stop the murderous hunter and his attack dogs, they will eat the baby Jesus!! Silent Night was a lie!!
 
I’m not sure any adult needs to the see the film and not so sure about the kids either. But it’s not a bad little film, really. It does beg the question why it exists and I guess the answer is the nativity story needed more pigeons shaking their asses, I guess. And money. And I suppose to sneakily sneak the nativity story in, maybe I guess not really?
 
The movie’s tone is decidedly modern with a lot of anachronistic jokes and terrible pop songs sung by talented artists. When it focuses on Mary and Joseph, it’s reasonably mature and, honestly, even though I’ve seen the story before, they were far more interesting than all the talking animals.
 

It’s fine. Shrug.

Score: 72

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