Transcendence is the new Johnny Depp-gets-uploaded-into-a-computer movie… you know… that kind of movie.

It’s a flick that wants to be daring and bold, intelligent and thought-provoking… and maybe it would be if it was actually any of that and not saddled with a deeply stupid script. Or maybe the script isn’t stupid but there’s not enough time to tell the story so they took plot-hole creating short-cuts and skated too loosely with the technology and ideas. The ideas in the flick have some solid ground but the execution is terrible. On top of that, it’s dreadfully slow and lacks a core of human emotion… and not for want of trying. I could get behind a cold, intellectual movie if that’s what they were trying to make – but this movie wants to be just as much a “the human spirit transcends” flick which would suggest an emotional, beating, warm heart. But no…. they are trying to be kind of cold, distant, and thought-provoking while also dancing around with surface-level emotions. So it’s kind of turgidly paced and when we do get story beats, they are poorly written and come off half-formed or too simplistic.

I was at odds with a core concept of much of the movie – it feels like a bad sci-fi movie where, just because someone has this new technology, that means generic bad sci-fi results occur. A cheap “beware” boo fest similar to The Lawnmower Man (“VR is evil because it’s NEW! BOO!”) that makes anti-technology Luddites into heroes. But then the movie pivots in curious ways that either means the movie is deeply confused or actually had an ultimate point it was making, not about the technology but about the human condition. Or maybe it’s just a confused, confounding script. I think there’s enough evidence that, in the end, the movie is trying to be deeper and more complex than it appeared to be. That it put on the clothes of a bad 90s sci-fi movie in order to pull an abstract Twilight Zone moment at the end that leaves you kind of wondering if that was what they intended or maybe there was one too many (or too few) script rewrites.

In a weird way, I came out of this movie pondering the message in the same way I did The Lego Movie… which is a weird connection to make. But in both movies, we are introduced to what we think is going to be a generic message but then that message is turned upside down and the end result is not a simple black or white moral but something more nuanced than would be expected from the movie. I give it (and Lego Movie) credit for this… it’s the one thing that ultimately saves what little can be saved from it.

It’s telling that I haven’t written anything about the acting and performances… but arguably female-lead Rebecca Hall is the only good character and actor in the film and she’s the nominal star (no, it’s not Johnny Depp). But I felt her character was made to do deeply stupid things due to the script shortcomings I mentioned early. Unfortunately, they then give her some interesting ethical and moral dilemmas and if the movie had the courage to have a lead character act in the way I think they may have originally intended, it would have created a very interesting and complex character. But the movie seems to fear the audience not liking the main character too much and results in her acting out-of-character, turning on a dime emotionally in a way that serves the script and not the character.

Johnny Depp is, at least, not wearing any weird costumes or face paint…. but is otherwise a vanishing concept in a film that maybe needed him to do some more heavy-lifting. Arguably maybe his blank performance is intentional later in the film but I’m not sure that explains him earlier in the film.

Unfortunately, this movie is pretty much a failure. It’s a compromised, dour, humorless, sluggish pace is at odds with a potentially interesting ending but it’s too much of a chore to sit through.