The unending march of obscure indie titles at the movie theater instead of big releases the past two weeks continues… this time it was a blind viewing of the movie Valley of Bones. It was not worth the mystery of going in ignorant of the flick – this was one boring sit. Unique premise even if it does leave you scratching your head.
So a rogue paleontologist (she was busted for digging for dinosaur bones on public land and served time) has a kid she barely ever sees while digging for bones for fun and profit (I guess). An opportunity to dig up a T-Rex skeleton in the badlands on North Dakota comes her way so she drops everything and takes her kid on the expedition. Unfortunately, a local meth head wants to steal the skeleton and sell it to pay off his debts to a Mexican cartel. A deadly game of cat and mouse and t-rex skeleton and rattle snake ensues.
Look, I’ve never seen a movie that combines the scintillating job of digging up dino bones with a crime drama involving a Mexican drug cartel set in North Dakota. I give it credit for having a plot weird enough that it will elicit, “no, really, this is a real movie” when explained to people. But that doesn’t make this a good dino-hunting/drug-cartel-escaping movie. It’s a tedious slog of a movie that probably had no right to get a theatrical release.
Skip it… unless you want to imagine it’s the Jurassic Park alternate cut where Alan Grant never got the call to visit the park and instead scuffled with meth heads and incompetent assassins.
Score: 59