I gave Breach a blind rent since I was optimistic for well-produced movies over the same rough time period that Hollywood was finally able to give us Tenet and Greenland. But, sadly, this is one of those movies where you say, “Ooh, I’ve made a big mistake” within the first minute of screen time.

This is a B (maybe even C) grade direct-to-streaming low-effort science fiction flick… starring Bruce Willis and (occasionally but not really) Thomas Jayne. It doesn’t need to exist. It brings nothing new to the stage and it’s shockingly shoddily shot.

Quick story synopsis, in an unconvincing 23rd century, mankind launches the last colony ship from Earth, leaving behind 19 billion people to die from a vaguely defined plague (or something). Most of the passengers are in cryo sleep while a dedicated bunch of space janitors… I dunno… mop a lot. Then aliens take over their bodies and it’s an action flick… but in the kind of way that makes a mid-budget B sci-fi flick like Pandorum look like Aliens.

It looks bad, the editing is bad, the acting is iffy, the dialog is even worse. The sets and props are dodgy and the aliens are… wait a second movie… if it looks like a zombie and moans like a zombie, that’s not an alien at all! Except for the one blobby alien which I think was such terrible CGI, I thought sometimes it might have been a bunch of people in a four-legged flesh suit.

On the plus side, Bruce Willis sure looks like he’s having fun… or he’s drunk. Either way, whistle or whiskey while you work. Someone’s gotta pay him if Die Hard movies aren’t working out any longer.

Score: 54