Bad Candy is a Halloween-themed horror anthology and a whole load of nonsense, garbage, and ineptitude. And for my next trick, I’ll think of more nasty things to say about it.

The film uses a frame story of a couple of radio DJs allegedly telling spooky Halloween-themes stories to their audience. Usually the setup for the short has nothing to do with the actual short. But that’s ok because the shorts are utter nonsense anyway and usually end with a shrug or a hand-waving and baffled “what does that have to do with anything” from yours truly.

Yes, these short horror films are often shot terribly, have garbage special effects, unconvincing blood, no actual scares, and end so abruptly or so randomly that I did ask that question to the screen. It got me thinking about the phrase, “And what does that have to do with the price of tea in China?” It seems appropriate to this film but I wasn’t 100% sure I was using it right so I Googled it. Yes, the phrase does apply to non-sequiturs or irrelevant ideas or statements. So it would be aptly applied to this movie.

And that, my friends, is about as much regard this trash film deserves. More fun to Google things you’ve been wondering about instead of watching this turkey. It’s truly just an inept, inexcusable mess of poorly crafted and told shorts. Almost none of them have any value, merit, or even basic logic. I guess the best short (as such) would have a final moral lesson of, “Don’t take drugs before having sex with a corpse”. Which, you know, is at least a good point.

But if you have very little interest in necrophilia and you somewhat demand coherent storytelling, scares, wickedly fun moral lessons, decent writing, or, you know, something (anything!) of substance in your horror anthology, stay away from this dumpster fire.

Score: 54