Unfrosted

I don’t think there’s a daffier, broader, more satirical, baffling, pop art, brightly lit, and straight-up dumb movie out there than Jerry Seinfeld’s Unfrosted. It’s so, so, SO dumb… I love it.

And maybe I was hopped up on goofballs and it’s actually a bad dumb movie. But if it is, I don’t want to live in that world.

Unfrosted is a satirical jab at all the corporate product movies released over the past few years (think Air, Blackberry, and Tetris). Set in the early 1960s, it’s about the battle of breakfast brands in Battle Creek, MI. When Kellogg discovers through the art of corporate espionage that Post is working on a fruity pastry for breakfast, they go to war… with milk men and cereal mascots lurking in the shadows.

Yes, this dumb genius movie is going to annoy and un-amuse some folk. Maybe it’s just the kind of goddamn stupid that tickles my funny bone and my funny bone alone. But I cackled over every blunderingly stupid corporate message, slogan, mascot, cameo, and ham-handed reference. I giggled at why Jack LaLanne was in the film… or Schwinn or some guy from 1940s Germany. Kennedy had me dying… Walter Cronkite too.

Yes, a movie with multiple Cronkite jokes. It’s possible Jerry Seinfeld made the most boomer movie ever… that he made something so esoteric and specific to a certain generation that younger folk will be lucky to get even a quarter of the jokes. This one’s for the Boomers… and scattered Gen Xers like me, I suppose. Cranky Seinfeld came out of semi-retirement to make something just for himself… using that sweet, sweet Netflix money.

The art of corporate bio pics is such a small genre it’s tough to say if they nailed all the clichés or not. It’s almost like they were making up tropes just to bash them down sometimes. But it certainly poked big holes in Big Cereal… and they’ve had it coming for years <eyes roll>. It’s such a goddamn random thing to pick a fight with. I wonder if Kellogg and Post (and Schwinn and Chef Boyardee) agreed to the script? What was that like? Might be an interesting corporate biopic right there…

Maybe I’m overselling it – maybe it’s just the dumbest movie ever. Full stop. Maybe I _was_ hopped up on goofballs. Either way, I snorted and laughed and guffawed until my eyes teared up. It’s telling I laughed this hard at a movie that made direct reference to Mad Magazine. I laughed more than anything I’ve watched in in quite a while.

Score: 89