Do good comedians realize they are reciting lines from an unfunny script or are they just happy to take the paycheck? Because people like Amy Schumer, Will Forte, and Jillian Bell have to be smarter and funnier than this.

Kinda Pregnant stars Schumer as a lonely woman who gets the notion if she pretends to be pregnant, the whole world will be her oyster. She’ll get compliments, make friends, get seats on the subway, etc. But she has to lead two lives with two sets of friends (and boyfriends)… countdown to the Big Reveal of the Lie in exactly the amount of time a rom-com needs.

I’ll admit it… I chuckled maybe three or four times in this otherwise aggressively unfunny (and crude) movie. Though, to be fair, human beings who have been pregnant, are pregnant, or may become pregnant might get out of it more than me. All the fart and queef jokes might appeal to someone about to pop. I dunno… that’s not my bailiwick.

All I can say is that a lot of the jokes landed like wet sand and all the crude and chaotic humor felt desperate. Like a lot of it felt inserted to punch of the scenario and/or make pregnant women look stupid… while pretending it’s a female empowerment movie.

As a rom-com, it’s all the usual unlikely storylines resulting in the standard-issue third act big reveal and breakup. You’ve been down this road before… and, hey, maybe this story structure is a feature, not a bug to you. I’m sick and tired of it though.

There’s gotta be smarter scripts out there. There’s gotta be! I just can’t imagine this is the best a screenwriter, producer, director, and a gaggle of comedians can come up with.

Score: 64