The previous 360 Days ended on a cliffhanger that this movie just hand-waves away. Whatever drama they were setting up? Nah. Now we have these two lovers getting married and we’re supposed to forget, I guess, all the kidnapping and sexual violence. Except the dude is still a control freak and she still wants her personal freedom (from the kidnapping sociopathic mafia don). Something arbitrary and wildly unsurprising happens which causes her to run away and into the arms of the (very hot Spanish) gardener.

I tried to go into this movie as its own thing, no longer saddled by the ugly insane plot of the first one. It was hard to do. Very hard. I mean, you take that away, and what’s left besides a generic “romance” with a little assholery. So, to compensate, they tossed in a stupid mafia subplot and some soap-opera-y (and eye-rolling) shockers… which, as it turns out, they didn’t really have much interest in.

Because the first twenty-five minutes of this thing is just sex, sex, and more sex. Almost as explicit as before (just fewer BJs). I guess we get some variety this time through a second couple having comedy sex and a convenient plot that lets them mix up which hot person is boinking which hot person.

The more dramatic thriller plot barely happens (at least until the wildly overacted final five minutes). They introduce some truly groan-worthy plot twists and then largely forget them so we can watch pretty people go on shopping sprees (again) in between porking each other.

And I tell ya, the movie is wall to wall low-energy, mumbly, probably erotic pop songs which I swear were all the same song. Each introduces yet another montage of shopping, boinking, or maybe even some boinking.

This flick should have been better than the first since it actually has a plot… but it really doesn’t so we just wind up with these endless montages. Clearly you can skip this one… I’m not even sure it’s worth seeing for the cringe pulpy fun. I’ll still be charitable with one star, even though this is a worse film. It’s still shot well and makes good use of location. Save me from charity.

Score: 56