The only thing more inexplicable than this being a series is me watching them. But like a more toxic Kissing Booth, in for a penny, in for a pound? But, I figured, at least this would be the end. The final act in the “After” trilogy… right? RIGHT?!?!

After We Fell continues to follow the stupidly antagonistic relationship between two pretty pieces of wood. He’s a stark-raving asshole and she’s a pretty little stupid doorstop trying to have a life of her own, yet inexplicably drawn to his Jackhole McJerkface. Because all women want is a a poorly tattooed bad boy to sneer at them.

In the last movie, this healthy couple argued, broke up, and got back together again so often it got tedious. But at least that was something… now they more-or-less just bicker a little bit and have makeup sex. Somehow this movie has fewer melodramatic drunken catfights and arguments than before… and it was pretty insuferable then but at least it was something. Now it’s just an extra helping of boring. These characters are boring.

The last movie ended with the sudden surprise introduction of her hobo father. This movie picks that up for about ten minutes and then gets bored and wanders off. Then it becomes about her getting a job in Seattle but Jerkface not wanting to move. Then they are on a romantic vacation and there’s jealousy over a flirty waiter. And then they drop that plot and move on to something else.

Finally within the last fifteen minutes we get some legit melodrama… that has almost nothing to do with our main characters. And then the words of doom “To be continued” flash on the screen. Oh dear… don’t threaten me with a bad time, movie.

This movie flails wildly from one aimless plot to another but never generates enough drama – or melodrama – to be interesting. Nothing particularly interesting happens to these boring characters. And yet there’s a part four coming.

Score: 58