So the new Baywatch movie was really disappointing. Not because I’m a Baywatch tv show purist (never seen an episode) but because the trailers were pretty funny and Dwayne Johnson always tries his hardest and Zac Efron has surprisingly turned into a pretty funny guy (or at least game to make fun of himself). So I was really disappointed (though I guess I shouldn’t have been) when ten minutes into this flick, I realized it wasn’t funny. Oh, it was making jokes, but almost none of them were landing.
It’s vaguely possible I’m missing the humor since I’ve never seen the show. I know the iconography, I know who starred in it, I’m aware of running in slow-mo with lots of bouncing and jiggling. And I guess maybe they were lifeguards who solved crimes because that’s a joke they make about ten times in this flick. But The Rock is not David Hasselhoff… I’m not sure the show was ever really an action film with a beefed up superman… but maybe I’m wrong. Either way, I didn’t laugh and I don’t think its because of self-referential jokes that went over my head.
So, without the funny, is the movie any good? Well, it’s not terrible… it’s got a decent enough by-the-numbers mystery about someone moving drugs on the beach. It IS weird the movie takes a lot of its plot and character growth serious in a number of serious-minded scenes… and the actors manage to make it work because they are good at their jobs. But a movie like this shouldn’t stand on how serious it is – it either really needs to bring the funny or just be SO bad its good. The movie was neither… so I wasn’t bored watching it, but it was one major shrug of a movie that will be forgotten in a day.
It was, however, a lot better than the recent CHiPS remake. But, in comparison, it was no 21 Jump Street. It was kind of a limp noodle… a weird comparison given the mountain that is Dwayne Johnson, the -5% body fat that is Zac Efron and his extra abs, or the very attractive and sometimes funny ladies (who needed more to do but sometimes that was a joke). Alexandra Dondarrio deserves better… Priyanka Chopra as the villain is only served by being a female villain in a beef and cheesecake movie.
So, yeah, don’t bother. I’m not sure there’s anyone who is such a legit fan of Baywatch that you need to run out to the movies. Anyone else… there’s better movies out there and much better, funnier movies to rent. Hell, if you want to see Dwayne Johnson and Alexandra Dondarrio together in a funnier, cheesier-in-a-good-way movie, watch San Andreas.
Score: 69