Brothers is a comedy with a remarkably good cast for such a remarkably bad movie. One of those fierce comedic bombs that makes you wonder if it was so unfunny on the page or if the non-comic actors were asked to ad-lib their way out of each scene.

The film stars Josh Brolin and Peter Dinklage as low-life twin brothers with a criminal mom played by Glenn Close who abandoned them years earlier. Now they are looking for ill-gotten booty while being chased by a cop played by Brendan Frasier. Also Marisa Tomei and a shitty CGI orangutan show up too.

Brothers seems content to just make twin brother jokes about tall Brolin and short Dinklage. And before I get all high and mighty about it, I have to acknowledge Twins did it first and it was great. No, it takes a uniquely bad script on top of an eye-rolling one-note joke to be this bad.

This is the kind of bad that makes its stars sit around at home waiting for Disney or HBO to call ’em up for a revival of their soulless corporate gigs. At least a return to Thanos or Cable would allow Brolin more dignity than being molested by a CGI ape. Hell, if they made him ride a tiny girl’s bicycle again in a Goonies sequel, he’d retain more dignity. And can the ongoing adventures of Tyrian Lannister get greenlit already? Dinklage is too good this.

I didn’t laugh a single time at the jaw-droppingly bad comedy these actors have to mouth. I had to double check each actor when they showed up, making me wonder if Glenn Close should go back to playing a redneck grandma suffering a demonic outbreak instead of this garbage. Marisa Tomei gets off fairly well having to only show up and rock out with Tyrian for perplexing reasons.

Brendan Frasier didn’t put on that fat suit in The Whale just to put on a cop uniform and goof around like this. But, to be fair, he seemed to be the only person committed to the bad comedy. Brolin and Dinklage looked embarrassed and bored to be stuck in this flick.

Stay far away from this turkey. It’s the kind of bad movie that earns straight-to-streaming its bad reputation. But I’d take ten misspelled Wolfs if I didn’t have to sit through this dreck again.

Score: 58