It’s never a good sign when you wave your hands angrily at the tv screen and demand to know why a movie is still going. And that’s exactly what I did… on multiple occasions… while watching this Christmas flick.

Candy Cane Lane starts out as a film about dueling neighbors fighting to have the most ostentatious Christmas decorations. And right as I was about to gripe that I don’t care about ostentatious Christmas decorations, it takes a jolly supernatural turn. And then it takes a turn into more wicked supernatural territory. And then it keeps going. and going. and going.

And none of it is half as fun or funny as they think it is. I watched the film with a stone face… the only sign of life my rolling eyes and my flailing arms as the movie refused to end. Damn thing hits a logical conclusion at a solid 90 minutes and then just keeps tossing in exhausting roadblocks to keep the film alive.

I suppose if you love the schmaltz and don’t care how bad a Christmas movie is, you might find it cute. There are some animated toy characters that have a neat stop-motion-like charm. Maybe the cameos from various comedians and musicians might appeal? I guess the dueling Christmas ornament storyline might be fun? Or the drama about the parents losing jobs or being promoted? Or the kids? Or Santa Clause?

To me, it’s was all a jumbled mess of ideas. It’s overstuffed with unfunny Christmas stuff and quickly grows tiresome, especially when those arms flail in the air. Is it over yet? Jeesh.

Score: 64