Cellar Door is a conceptual mess… and a bait-and-switch. It’s misleading in its synopsis and I’m all grumblypegs about that. Less grumblypegs that the cover art clearly shows Scott Speedman and Jordana Brewster who I like but didn’t recognize until the movie was rolling. So they help the film not be a total disaster.

Brewster and Speedman play a married couple trying to move out of the city. They wind up visiting Lawrence Fishburne in his mansion to figure out if he can recommend a home… and he gives them his. Which happens ALL the time, amiright? They just have to never open the cellar door. So they don’t.

“Ooh… what’s in the cellar” is what this film sells… but what it really is is just a generic marital infidelity thriller. The main plot involves a sexual harassment suit against Speedman which he hides from his wife. Yeah, there’s also a mysterious cellar door, but it’s often ignored because it’s utterly unimportant to 95% of the movie.

Sure, they occasionally show curiosity / obsession about what’s in the cellar… but it’s a total tell, don’t show. They SAY they HAVE to know but the filmmaking language never expresses it. It’s just occasionally a thing they wonder about before getting back to the main plot.

The mystery is just one big piece of symbolism that’s handled poorly. Yes, the mystery is more psychological and keyed into their neuroses about a possible affair and other thriller elements later in the film. It just feels like two independent stories smashed together so they could sell a horror thriller.

The marital infidelity story isn’t very good on its own but the alleged horror is a disaster. It’s well acted (even if Speedman still won’t shut his mouth) and it has a decent finale. This movie just doesn’t work.

Score: 68