Another round of classics (pre-2000) films. The rate of these classics updates is gonna slow down… I’m on a manic tear to get some old movie challenges out of the way.

1942 – To Be Or Not To Be – I saw the Mel Brooks 80s remake a bunch of times and loved it. Thought the original was a serious version of the story. Turns out, both are comedic… but I much prefer the Brooks version (hi nostalgia!)

1953 – Tokyo Story – a highly regarded Akira Kurosawa film that I thought was just fine. Not remotely sure why it gets so much praise… unless its just the fact he made a good movie in post-war Tokyo.

1960 – The Lost World – Not the Spielberg movie, sadly. A pretty generic expedition film where a bunch of folks travel to S. America to find some dinosaurs. They do… but they are really just lizards with stuff glued to their backs.

1962 – Invasion of the Star Creatures – a satire of bad 50s and 60s alien invasion movies. Pretty corny and kinda boring. But I respected the attempt.

1963 – The Old Dark House – too creaky and sluggish for my tastes. I have no feelings other than boredom.

1963 Tom Jones – Best Picture winner my ass. I kind of hated this corny horny comedy thing? I have no idea what they were smoking in ’63…

1964 – Blood and Black Lace – I tried but I couldn’t get into yet another Italian giallo.

1965 – Crack in the World – a pretty bland and sluggish disaster film where atomic bombs are both the cause of, and the solution to, the problem.

1972 – Don’t Torture a Duckling – now that’s just good advice. This is one of the better Fulci horror movies. Pretty approachable and entertaining.

1976 – Futureworld – the sequel to the original Westworld. Pretty good… even if it feels like they shrugged and gave up on the premise of the original for some pretty generic paranoia thriller storylines.

1976 – The Tenant – a pretty good Roman Polanski movie about the horrors of living in an apartment complex (which he’d already done before). Its weird and random but pretty good.

1976 – Track of the Moon Beast – a very, very bad horror movie about a guy who turns into a monster during the full moon. MST3K presents!

1978 – The Toolbox Murders – starts out like a slasher, turns into a Hardy Boys investigation. Surprisingly good for a movie called The Toolbox Murders.

1982 – White Dog – a surprisingly good movie with collar-tugging premise. A woman adopts a dog that has been trained to attack and kill black people. Surprisingly good for such a tasteless premise… probably because a killer dog is a thing that could be trained.

1984 – Paris, Texas – absolutely loved this smart film focused on conversations and the silences between words. Great film.

1985 – Guinea Pig: Devil’s Experiment – a reprehensibly dumb fake snuff film that insulted my intelligence. And its just gross they made it… but they made 5 of them so I was curious.

1985 – Making Contact – a very bad “kids rule” 80s film that feels like its borrowing too much from films like ET and The Goonies.

1985 – Mr. Vampire – a goofy Chinese vampire film. I thought it was gonna be more serious, but apparently not. I chuckled a decent amount. It’s nutty.

1987 – The Phantom Empire – An amusing sci-fi satire that pokes fun at old movies like The Lost World. Too bad it also had to  be a good movie to be worth watching. But I smiled… sometimes.

1993 – Body Melt – with a title like that, you’d expect a lot of goopy melting bodies. You get that. But not much else. Very tedious.

1995 – Mute Witness – a movie with a premise Alfred Hitchcock would approve of. A mute woman witnesses a murder on a film set and tries to convince the police… but the baddies always have just the right excuse. Good first half, batshit weird final act that crashes the movie.

1996 – SubUrbia – A very good hang-out film from Richard Linklatter who makes very good hang-out films. A lot of uncomfortable racism… but that’s kind of the point.