Here’s yet another classic update covering the tail end of 2022 (including more Halloween flicks and a couple Christmas ones) and a little 2023. Once again, the question of what makes a classic is stretched given the 90s flicks (time is the crucible in which we burn). 

1918 – A Dog’s Life – a Charlie Chaplin short that promised a fun mix of The Little Tramp and a cute dog… and underdelivered. Not much dog… but certainly some funny bits and great comic timing and choreography. Not the best Chaplin I’ve seen, that’s for sure… but it’s ok.

1920 – The Kid – One of Chaplin’s more famous silent films… and the one I’ve liked the least. Yeah, I know. Weird. But I didn’t think the sentimentality worked (unlike in City Lights) which led to less room for the physical comedy and sight gags. And the less said about the pointless dream sequence, the better.

1921 – The Idle Class – A perfectly good middle-of-the-road Chaplin / Little Tramp movie where he terrorizes a country club golf course before being mistaken for the rich husband of an unhappy marriage. I laughed a decent number of times so credit to the film. 

1943 – The Phantom of the Opera – hyper technicolor adaptation of the classic story. Probably too much opera in a film about the opera but it has nice sets and a fairly rousing conclusion. Some cornball jokes that start funny and then run too long. It’s not bad.

1944 – The Three Cabelleros – a Disney animated film from its classic era that isn’t exactly a classic. It’s a curious introduction to South and Central America by way of animated shorts. Lots of singing, lots of dancing, lots of creative animation. No particularly story… just… I dunno… things happening. I didn’t hate it… not enough movie to hate.

1964 – Marnie – not exactly my favorite Hitchcock. It’s far too melodramatic in a bad soap opera way… and far too brightly/garishly lit. But it’s got some interesting psychological damage that must have been super shocking for a mid-60s audience… so shocking they couldn’t even say what they were trying to say (lest everyone feint from the vapors). So… interesting in a Hollywood time capsule sort of way.

1971 – Straw Dogs – I knew this film for its hyper-violent reputation from when the 2011 remake came out. It’s definitely violent but I can only imagine how much so back in ’71 since it’s not that violent by  today’s standards. But it’s still a solid home invasion pic starring Dustin Hoffman as the convincingly nerdy American fending off local British townsfolk.

1976 – Martin – A George Romero vampire film featuring the least impressive vampire ever put on screen. Really Martin is probably just a deluded serial killer but his uncle assures him he is, indeed, nosferatu. His kills are brutal and messy and borderline incompetent. But otherwise the movie doesn’t really seem to go anywhere. I didn’t get it.

1978 – Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! – a silly 50’s alien invasion parody that I’ve known about all my life but managed to never see. I’m glad I caught up with it but sad that I’m no longer the ten year old who would have adored every second of this tomfoolery. There’s some good chuckles here and there but a surprising amount of dead air as comedy falls flat over and over again. Also, surprisingly little actual tomato in this killer tomato movie…

1978 – Xenogenesis – a pretty lame short film by James Cameron that these days looks like it was filmed on a potato. But he’s got some cool visual FX tricks for something that looks like a student film. Apparently it got him noticed by Roger Corman so I guess its cinematically significant.

1982 – Pieces – an absolute hoot of a movie, unintentionally so (probably). This is a slasher film of its era full of boobs and blood ‘n gore. Curiously not a typical slasher since it more focuses on the police investigation and doesn’t have a Final Girl. It’s an unevenly fun movie until it randomly gets wacky to the point I was wondering if I was watching a spoof of an ’80s slasher.

1984 – Silent Night, Deadly Night – a movie I knew more as an unrented video tape back in the day. Finally gave it a shot this past Christmas (since I’d seen a couple other killer Santa movies). And it’s pretty decent until it plummets off the roof in the final act. Tedious and dull. I also watched the other FOUR sequels in this tragic franchise. Part 2 was terrible but hilarious at the same time (“GARBAGE DAY!”)… and part 5 turned out to be a decent stand-alone scary movie. 

1991 – Popcorn – a surprisingly decent pseudo-slasher film about a film club putting on a classic movie  marathon and how each character gets picked off as each film plays. The films-with-a-film are fun and campy throwbacks to 50’s films and are the best part. Plot gets a little too convoluted for the flick. But it’s a decent watch.

1994 – Tammy and the T-Rex – stretching the boundaries of classic AND movie comes this knowingly absurd film about a mad scientist who steals Paul Walker’s brain and puts it in their crappy dinosaur robot (for science!). And Denise Richards who keeps a straight-face while talking to her boyfriend the dinosaur robot. This is a dumb movie but it knows its a dumb movie… so mild credit. Too bad it’s only marginally funny. Your results may vary.