Close to You is a Netflix film about a trans man going home for his dad’s birthday and how they all grapple with his absence for five years. I wasn’t particularly interested in this film until I noticed Elliot Page was the star. I knew he’s transitioned after starring in Juno (which happens to be a bit of a favorite)… but I hadn’t seen anything from him since. So this was a great opportunity to catch up.

I’m unfortunately a bit mixed on the result though. I’m not a trans person nor gay or anything else that might make dinner with the family awkward so I can only bring my empathy and critical analysis to bear.

I’m unsure how this film wants me to react to its main character Sam (Page). Either every awkward conversation with the family is meant to be a wish fulfilment of what a trans person would really want to say OR it’s a nuanced exploration of hurt that makes Sam a more complicated, sometimes unlikable, person.

Mostly the family accepts Sam, sometimes a little awkwardly and this feels believable and lived in. But there’s a fiancé character who is more uncomfortable which turns into arguments. The scenario is understandable but Sam seems like he has a chip on his shoulder, sometimes the instigator. And this feels believable for a hurt character.

The thing is, I’m not sure the movie wants me to think this about Sam. I think it thinks it’s got the full moral high ground and is reflecting a wish fulfillment of how conversations like this would go. The guy is being a prick, the family is unsure how to respond. But the way the plot resolves feels grossly unfair to them and makes Sam seem uncaring and cruel. Which is a perfectly human reaction to the situation… if that was the intent of the film.

And then there’s a romance subplot that maybe I was supposed to be cheering for… but the fact Sam is flirting with an old flame who is now a wife and mother makes me wonder what they were thinking. Yes, finding happiness is good, but the film gives no regard to the husband who they had spent time with earlier. Maybe he’s not a great guy, but at least acknowledge the complexity for what it is.

Which is a lot of complaining for a movie I otherwise actually liked. The acting is good, the drama is dramatic, the grey depressing cinematography is good, and I loved seeing Page back on screen. I’m just grappling with the intent and message of the film. And if the intent was to project a flawed, struggling character who doesn’t always make the right choices, then great. But I suspect that wasn’t the case and the ambiguity kept me at arm’s length.

Score: 84