Coffee Table, The

Hell is other people… and also your own bad decisions. This Spanish horror flick is… disturbing. And disturbed. And not a fun time in front of a screen. It’s cruel and unpleasant and if you want to see how to construct something so cruel and unpleasant, a perfect film.

It’s about a married couple with a newborn out shopping for some furniture. The husband falls in love with a coffee table that the wife thinks is ugly and will spend all her time belittling him for his bad taste. But they buy it. Then something happens that involves it… one of the worst possible things. And only he knows it’s happened.

The tension and piling on is real. Rarely have I ever been put through such a wringer of anxiety. Never had I wanted more for our protagonist to just end it all and save himself and his family the grief. But grief is inevitable and what the film builds – and then piles onto – makes for a strenuous, unpleasant film.

Never have I felt more conflicted about a protagonist. The more that piles in on him – his wife sniping at him, the teen neighbor, the salesman, his brother – it’s all just too much. I felt empathy… and then had to remind myself maybe he doesn’t deserve it. But then I ponder how one really would act in this circumstance. And then… what are his options? I just wanted him to make a choice. Any choice.

I won’t say the inciting incident (other than they buy a coffee table) but I can’t imagine anyone not feeling anything for what happens. But some people will find it nigh on unwatchable. Cruel. Sadistic. Mean spirited. Others will appreciate the piling on, the anxiety, maybe even the dark humor? I dunno. Hell is other people… and yourself.

There’s moments in the final act that feel a little drawn out… perhaps 90 minutes is too many minutes for the premise. It lost some of the tension and that’s unfortunate. But the finale… masterfully edited and acted… plus a final spoken synopsis that in other hands would feel extraneous was perfectly written and tragic.

I want to give the flick a higher score but its downtime does it no favors. But for all the well-executed moments and terrific finale, it still earns a solid rating. It might deserve more and depending on your personal sense of horror… or much lower.

Score: 84