The Devil’s Bath is a long way around to tell an interesting bit of historical trivia. Could have gotten there quicker with a glance at a Wikipedia article… or thirty minute documentary. Or forty minutes less mopey wandering around in a gloomy forest.

The flick is about a woman who marries a guy and he moves them into a dark, depressing house in a dark, depressing forest. He doesn’t want to consummate the marriage and she grows depressed. Wash, rinse, repeat… and hey, eventually finally they find the point in a little good old fashioned murder. Neat.

At least this movie proves my whole theory: being a peasant in 18th century Austria would really suck. And, to the film’s credit, it’s first hour is kind of interesting as we watch this woman lose her mind while collecting mud in miserable conditions while the local townsfolk shit on her every chance they get.

If the film didn’t start with a little murder of a pour unfortunate soul, you wouldn’t even know you’re (allegedly) watching a horror movie. Though the misery of this meager, muddy, depressing life could be horror enough. I’m not convinced it IS horror though… but Shudder hosts it so I guess they know what they’re doing <he said suspiciously>.

At about the hour mark, I started glancing at my watch waiting for the horror – and even a plot – to finally show up. And I kept waiting as this slow burn pushed my interest into the mud and pressed down with a sodden leather boot. I don’t mind the atmosphere and the pacing but something – anything – has to happen for me to remain engaged. And there was still an hour to go.

When it FINALLY finds a point, I went “oh… is that what this movie is about?” And then it has an interesting end title card that would have made Kevin Smith happy while writing Dogma. An interesting religious conundrum solved by an interesting loophole in the logic. Fascinating. Couldn’t have gotten there with less humdrum?

This movie barely passes as a thing of interest. It’s getting a low rating because it takes its slow burn and snuffs it out… but it does have some interesting bits and pieces that hold up. And the ultimate point the leaden two hours was working towards was interesting.

Score: 70