Tonight in “Generic Movie Titles You’ll Forget in a Minute Theater” it’s Don’t Move. Not to be mixed up with Hold Your Breath, Never Let Go, Blink Twice, Speak No Evil, Afraid, The Last Breath, and It’s What’s Inside… all 2024 titles that make you go, “Wait… which one was that?”.

Don’t Move – more appropriately titled “This guy injected me something and now I Can’t Move”… c’mon. Don’t Move implies a directive, not a circumstance. Anyway, it’s about a woman who is capture by a serial killer and injected with something that paralyzes her. They then spend the rest of the movie evading the authorities while she… doesn’t move.

A lot of this film feels very generic… but eventually is grinds together enough thriller gears to be reasonably effective. Effective at both being suspenseful and immensely frustrating because, you know, we want the girl to move and she can’t and he’s a smug asshole about it.

The acting is all right… yeah, he’s a smug prick but he’s playing a smiling nice guy too… and, frankly, I just rewatched Trap today and monsieur Josh Hartnett did it better. She’s ok doing a lot of eye acting and “I can’t move my finger… I CAN MOVE MY FINGER!” physical acting. I guess she did a good job since I wanted her to start moving and not die.

This is a decent thriller, worth maybe watching on Netflix. Or not. Plenty better out there. Though you better watch it quick… otherwise you’ll be sitting at the Netflix home screen going, “Wait… what was that movie called again?”

Score: 81