So I went to see The Emoji Movie. I admit it. It happened. I took the hit so you wouldn’t have to. I’m really a hero, if you think about it.
So, yes, if you saw the trailer (or even just heard about it) and thought it sounded terrible or if you’ve read the reviews… well… it’s all true. The Emoji Movie is just a very bad movie. It’s not funny, its take on how a phone might work is weirdly clueless, and its overall story has been done before (only much, much better). And it’s weird kiddy for a movie that should be targeting teenagers (you know, people who use their phones to text their friends a lot). There’s almost nothing to recommend in this movie.
Basic plot… a teenage boy wants to send his crush a text message. Inside his phone, all the emojis are living creatures, excited to get a chance to get texted. A newly hired “Meh” emoji is having stage fright and it turns out he has more than just the one emotion. So he sets off on a quest to exit the text app and find a hacker to reprogram him back to being just a “Meh”.
OK – so you take Tron, Inside Out, Wreck-It Ralph, and a little of The Lego Movie and you get The Emoji Movie…. only not good. It’s not like Inside Out or Wreck-It Ralph were doing anything much greater than the basic plot of Emoji movie does, but those still managed to be good movie. The problem with The Emoji Movie isn’t that it’s a movie about emojis – you can make a good movie out of anything if you try. They didn’t try. It’s obvious.
Now product placement is a thing – sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes its blatant. It’s blatant in a grand sort of way here – they use generic apps until they get to the apps whoring themsleves out in this movie. They go from Just Dance to Facebook to Twitter and then to Candy Crush (because of course Candy Crush would sell themselves for a buck). But the worst and weirdest is Dropbox. Dropbox is the end of their journey and even includes the line, “The virus couldn’t follow us because Dropbox is just too secure” (or something like that). Ugh.
So, yeah, you weren’t gonna see it. And if you were – you have a young child – there’s better movies. Or things to do. Give them your phone and let them send messages using emojis. It’s much more fun.
Score 55