Let my suffering be a warning to you all: just because it’s on Netflix and “free” doesn’t mean it won’t cost you your soul. If I could sue myself for intolerable cruelty for making myself sit through this garbage, I would. If I could throw tomatoes at the screen and magically have them hit the actors, I would. Dramatic enough? I’m being as dramatic as this movie is dumb, gross, and stupid.

The Entitled is a Filipino comedy that gleefully punches down on a dirt-poor, ignorant, and clueless girl who finds out her real father is a super rich hotelier. She moves in with them, bringing her dirt, scabs, and skin conditions and proceeds to fart, shit, and puke her way through their lives… and fall in love with the cute attorney who somehow falls for her farting, shitting, puking self in return.

Yes, one of this character’s key attributes is that she has severe gastrointestinal distress when she’s under stress. She farts, shits, and pukes. Are we having fun yet? This is the alpha and omega, the apogee and nadir, the heaven and hell of stupid, crass, obnoxious and unpleasant comedies.

And, hell, to be fair this movie just proves no nation has ownership of crude, crass comedies about idiots. I mean, is this all that different from Joe Dirt? Or Dumb and Dumber? And I know one of those two movies is beloved by many, but I’m not one of them. So, hell, maybe this movie is a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.

But I doubt it.

Score: 52