Also watched the new film remake of the old tv series Fantasy Island. Or Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island as the movie calls itself… maybe in a fit of copyright legality or because they want to assure us this is a horror movie now. Blumhouse has been making low budget theatrical horror flicks for years now so maybe they think their branding is recognizable enough now. Regardless, Fantasy Island tv show often had a sinister edge to it so a full on horror movie retrofit isn’t too unusual.
The film follows the basic plot of the tv show. A group of people arrive on the island by sea plane. Mr. Rourke greets them and presents them with their fantasy which is made real through mysterious means. Each person then learns a lesson of some kind… only this time, the lessons are often trying to shoot and stab them. Though, honestly, I would imagine that could have been the case in the 70s show too… my memory is wobbly on that.
Surprisingly, large chunks of this movie are actually pretty good. It doesn’t start out great and the early introductions to the fantasies are kind of dull… but as each character’s story progresses, the movie gets better. There’s some good storytelling and almost Twilight Zone level mystery and suspense to the stories. It’s never great, but it shows potential and occasionally drifts into interesting territory, especially as the storylines start to converge.
But then the characters end up in a flooded cave system and wander around forever getting jump scared and spooked by repeating, boring ghosts (or something). The movie just falls off a cliff – the more an actual horror movie it becomes, the worse everything gets. And then there’s a series of Inception-level Scooby Doo reveals that go on so long you’d think we were watching the end of Wayne’s World. But it’s not a joke and it sucks any remaining life the movie has right out of it. I can’t imagine anyone thinking suspense or thrills can be maintained with this level of “shocking” reveals.
Mr. Roarke is now played by Michael Pena… an actor I like but who doesn’t really ooze sophistication… or slightly sinister sophistication like Ricardo Montalban did. Pena is a good actor… but the kind of guy you might want to have a beer with. He’s miscast… he does’t ruin the movie, but he doesn’t feel like the part. Oh… and there isn’t a proper Tattoo replacement, though someone does yell “the plane!” at one point (and Mr. Roarke does say “Smiles”). The rest of the actors are fine, I guess. Nothing special. Lucy Hale, Maggie Q, and Jimmy Yang (who is a “hey, it’s that guy” kind of guy at this point).
No particular need to run out to see this movie unless you are a super fan of the old tv show. I guess. Even then there’s so much wrong with the end of the movie, I can’t imagine anyone could get through it with any emotion besides boredom. It’s honestly a nice enough try when the movie is working that I wouldn’t mind a sequel with a tighter script. And they did set things up with well for that potential…. even adding a proper Tattoo, as it turns out (minor spoiler).
Score: 72