So finally got out to see Fifty Shades Darker… this is the sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey which isn’t a very good movie but it was hardly the crime against cinema a lot of people make it out to be. Well, honestly this one isn’t either. It’s about the same as the first only now with less plot and more rather un-erotic sex and boobs (male and female).
So after kicking “50 Shades of F’ed Up” Christian Grey out of her life in the dramatic end of the first movie, “regular girl” Anastasia Steele has moved on with her life. Until Christian Grey comes around and promises no more kinky domination sex so she says, “Sure” and promptly lets him spank her. Because it’s her choice now… or something. I dunno. Insert vague theme about control and choice and have-wave it away.
This movie doesn’t have much plot – it’s just two people who get together and have a bunch of sex as they grow to love each other more. So it’s a romance novel on screen and if you go see it, you can’t argue that it’s not what it’s about. There are some random sub-plots that are supposed to constitute the “darker” part but given how short they are, it’s more like maybe fifteen shades of grey… five shades per sub-plot. Christian has a stalker… resolved in five minutes. Anastasia is sexually harassed by her boss… resolved in five minutes. Christian’s original dominatrix comes sniffing around… resolved in five very melodramatic minutes.
So, yeah, the biggest crime the movie commits is just not having enough story for a two hour movie. It has dialog scenes and sex scenes (one or two too many which is about three or four fewer than the ridiculously pornographic novel). It tiresomely goes on beyond the logical end point and then ominously sequel-baits for the third movie (insert dramatic music here).
So, yeah, it is exactly the type of movie it is and you either want plot or you just want a bunch of romantic/sexy scenes. I can’t say it’s a poorly made movie and the actors do their thing. It could be consider a hilarious bunch of badness or a just a snooze-fest… I didn’t think it was corny enough nor bad enough for either, personally. In all, the movie is a cinematic shrug in my book.
Shrug.
Score: 72