First Date is a desperate film. Desperately trying to be hip, edgy, daring, and funny but coming off as a trying way WAY too hard. It reminds me of a copy of a copy of a 90s era post Pulp Fiction knock-off. A bunch of allegedly hilarious bad guys in a wacky crime scenario all shouting and quipping at each other in between violent blood baths.

The film opens with an inert protagonist – a shy teenage kid who barely manages to work up the courage to ask his kickboxing crush out on a date. But he doesn’t have a car… so he gets conned into buying one only to find out that a gang of incompetent and “hilarious” crooks want it. One wacky night of violent shenanigans ensues.

About every word in the last sentence of the above paragraph needs a quote around it. This movie is just boring and unfunny and largely fails at everything it tries (including having a budget to actually pull of stunts).

And its main title gimmick is irrelevant to the plot 80% of the time. I’m not sure why this movie is about a kid on his first date when its clear the film would rather focus on the wacky hijinks of these wacky criminals. Write them out of the plot… though and I guess we’d only be left with “unique” personalities like Guy Who Shouts a Lot and Guy Who Keeps his Dime Store Hood Mask On All The Time.

No reason to bother.

Score: 61