To be honest, the only reason I watched this obscure digital flick was because I spent a handful of weekends on a river when I was a kid. And I played the arcade game Toobin’… so when a horror flick about folks floating down a river popped up, my curiosity got the best of me.

The flick is about a bunch of bland or blandly reprehensible twenty-somethings who, yup, go off to float down a river. But the Crazy Old Man (TM) warns them that they are DOOOMED if they risk the river. But they ignore him and soon, in sequences as chilling as the wind chasing Marky Mark in The Happening, the river begins to take them. What’s in the river? Water, maybe? I dunno.

This is a very bad movie. The kind of mostly incompetent production with bad acting, boom mics in shots, bad sound dubbing, and no interesting ideas worth spending barely 70 minutes of screen time on. Thank god for the 70 minute runtime though.

Did I mention they are on this trip despite having lost a friend a year ago? Yup… they could have gone caving in Appalachia or climbed a really tall radio tower or even spent time at a Wendingo-infested wintery lodge… but no, just lazily floating down a river is about the max these daredevils can handle.

There’s no reason to watch this turkyburger. Odds of you having heard about it are low and odds of you having fond memories of the game Toobin’ are even lower (but would be more enjoyable).

Score: 54