Freelance is a pretty decent action/comedy starring John Cena’s enormous face as a married guy who probably listens to Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads a LOT. He wants more from life so when a surprise Christian Slater asks him to do private security for a reporter heading to South America, he joins up.

This flick is better than I expected but unfortunately not as good as it earnestly tries to be. It exists in the jungle adventure genre where a tough guy and a clueless gal are beset on all sides by trouble. Think The Lost City or Romancing the Stone if you want to go old school… or The African Queen if you want to go even older school.

The humor is never quite the right kind of funny. It tries hard and at least when the jokes don’t land, I wasn’t left wondering why the movie was so lame. More like… yeah, nice try. I see what you were going for. Certainly John Cena’s cartoon face does some of the heavy lifting.

The action set pieces are acceptable, decent even… but kind of rare. There’s long stretches where the movie prefers to explore its actual S. American plot. I’m not sure the politics of this fictional country matter that much but I wasn’t bored and I kind of respect the effort. Maybe not the right fit for a dopy action/comedy starring John Cena and Alison Brie.

Oh? I didn’t mention Alison Brie? Because… hotcha mama she’s smokin’ hot in this flick. I should probably be more evolved and talk about the sociopolitical… oh my god she’s naked holding her boobs. I appreciate the attention to detail, especially when she turns the seduction on.

Ahem… wear was I? Oh right, being an evolved male in the year 2023. I frown at the male gaze. Shame shame, I know your name.

Anyhoo… Freelance is a perfectly alright action/comedy that probably needed a little punch-up on its script. It’s never as funny as it clearly wants to be and probably needed a few more action scenes. But somehow its earnestness, Cena’s face, and pretty much all of Alison Brie gang up to make me enjoy the flick.

Score: 78