Saw Getaway, the new Ethan Hawke / Selena Gomez movie… 90 minutes of car crashes with a random, flimsy plot to hang Car Crash the Movie on. Hawke drives an armored Shelby Cobra (an excuse for the lack of damage on the car AND a better title for a movie: Armored Cobra… 3D!) because John Voight tells him to… and he mostly tells him to drive through crowds, smash into other cars, and wreck things for no apparent reason in a random Bulgarian (?huh?) city.

The dialog and stupidity of the movie are kind of funny (I mean, seriously, they are told to blow up a power plant to shut down the grid and, at no point in the movie, is the power ever actually out in the city).

Selena Gomez – super hacker – is really annoying and appears to be in the movie to spout all the swear words in the movie (and there’s a lot… Disney princesses be rebelling!).

A movie based on car chases and wrecks could be a lot of fun… but there isn’t a compelling story to make any of it matter and a lot of it is filmed in close-ups on low-grade cameras and never builds any tension or excitement. It’s one big arbitrary car crash like we used to do with Matchbox cars as kids (smash! crash!).

Score: 62