The Gorge on Apple TV+ is a film of two distinct halves that will appeal to different camps. Me? I liked the unique first half a lot more than the second, more derivative half. The movie’s good though and perhaps its first half was timed expertly for Valentine’s Day.

It stars Miles Teller and Anya Taylor-Joy as snipers guarding opposite sides of a misty mysterious gorge. Something is down there that they can’t let escape… but most of their days are spent being very bored in their guard towers… until they make a connection via message boards and binoculars.

The first half of this 2+ hour film is just these two getting to know each other over vast distances. It’s cute, it’s charming, and good grief these two Hollywood stars are sexy. Especially Taylor-Joy and her impossible cheekbones and even more impossible eyes. This romance section goes from cute to romantic to sexy in ways I was really into. Enough to give it a higher score… until the second half.

Eventually they investigate the mysteries of the gorge and it’s perfectly fine. I can’t say any of its bad but it’s highly derivative of things like Annihilation, Halo, The Expanse, Resident Evil, and a dozen other movies and video games. None of this is bad but its not overly exciting and the reveal of what’s really going on is science fiction 101.

It’s curious the Cold War sexy spy thriller is infinitely more interesting than the spooky monster movie that I’d normally be drawn to. But there you have it… two attractive actors interacting with each other > mutant monster mysteries. Who knew?

Score: 84