H.P. Lovecraft’s The Old Ones is a low (very low) budget film that’s not an adaptation of any one Lovecraft story… despite his name being a writing credit. Instead it’s a goofy amalgamation of a bunch of his ideas and stories with references to the great old ones, Cthulhu of course, and, hey, the return of the resonator from From Beyond (I missed you and your slimy flying worms).

The flick is about an old sea captain who is fished out of a creek by a teenager and his dad. Before you can say rubber-suited monsters, a rubber-suited monster shows up and starts murderin’ fools. Now it’s a race… or a drive… or possibly a casual amble to… I dunno? Now that I think about it, the plot doesn’t make a lot of sense.

This film is pretty bad but its also wildly entertaining so I’m having a hard time rating it. When it begins, it’s clearly one or even a half a star… until I started laughing. It would make a hilarious midnight movie it’s so full of camp, weird acting choices, dodgy effects, and even dodgier rubber-suited monsters. It wasn’t immediately clear they were just goofing around… but pretty obvious jokes on top of the self-serious cheese mad it clear.

But, hey, if that means we get possessed average middle American guys spouting serious Lovecraftian dialog about R’lyeh, Dagon, and Cthulhu then that’s ok.

This flick was clearly just a bunch of guys messing around off the interstate. It’s got a real folksy fumbling charm. Someone got a camera and a tiny budget and just went for it.

It’s too bad the film fumbles so bad in its final act with plot threads that get dropped and a surprisingly lumbering finale. It was never a great film but at least it was paced well until the resonator showed up.

If you want to laugh at deliberate cheese that pokes holes in self-serious HP Lovecraft lore… and if you like rubber-suited monsters and barely passable visual effects, you might have a grand time hooting it up at this dopey flick. It ain’t good, but it can be pretty funny to the right people.

Score: 67