Holland is set in Holland. No, not <i>that</i> Holland. Holland, Michigan? Yes and no… that’s the setting of the movie, but it’s really the gimmick they glued onto the film to give it colorful flavor. Yes, tulips and a giant gimmick windmill… but so what?

The flick stars Nicole Kidman as a chipper Midwesterner who loves her town and her husband. But she’s starting to suspect he’s having an affair due to too many business trips (Frankenmuth represent!). So she joins up with a mustache-endowed coworker to Nancy Drew this mystery.

And… yeah. I couldn’t connect with this film from minute one. It drones on very slowly and I couldn’t find the interest or much of an inciting incident that would keep me engaged. And my floating boredom and hazy attention kept me at bay for the whole movie.

And that’s all I gotta say about that. It’s a rare movie that doesn’t have me yammering on for a few more paragraphs but, to me, there’s nothing in this cookie jar. Just crumbs of a decent performance from Kidman and two dudes who were interchangeable except for the mustache.

Score: 65