Studio Head: Let’s make an adaptation of the life of Jesus… for kids!
Doubting Studio Head: But kids won’t relate to an old fashioned Jesus story.
Studio Head: We’ll have a frame story starring Charles Dickens!
Doubting Studio Head: Charles Dickens? Kid’s love Charles Dickens… they say he’s the bee’s knees!

The King of Kings is the story of Jesus… again. Only this time as told by Charles Dickens to his boy. It dances from plot point to plot point, in the early stages almost skipping like rocks across a pond. But it slows down and focuses more in the final act.

The whole Dickens thing is perplexing and threatens to derail the whole movie, especially in the overly frantic first half. The Dickens inserts were distracting, hyper, and unwelcome (and the cat needed to go too). It was pretty bad and made the early Jesus story feel like it was being told out of obligation.

But then the film cools off, settles down, and delivers a pretty good final act, probably starting with Gethsemane and a pretty harsh crucifixion for a kid friend version of the story. They gave these moments the somber and serious tones they needed. It doesn’t show nails going into flesh, but it implies it. I guess there’s only so far you can kid friendly a guy being executed, especially when that’s the major motivating factor behind the religion. So good on the movie.

The CGI is pretty basic and will underwhelm… but the voice cast is surprisingly chunky. Even if I confused Oscar Isaac as Jesus with a toned down Charlie Day (imagine that casting!).

This is a mixed-up film that introduces a dubious frame story, hops and skips through parts of the new testament and nails other parts well. I think this flick will land exactly where it was aiming for faith-based families and will be semi-impactful for the less devout. Unless your super cynical in which case nothing was gonna fly anyway.

Score: 76