I Saw Machete Kills… the sequel to the movie Machete which started out as a fake trailer in the movie Grindhouse. Machete was a trashy fun movie that had something to do with something, Mexican immigration, and a lot of good actors having fun… and giving Danny Trejo a starring role (Trejo is always that bad guy Mexican drug dealer/killer except in Robert Rodriguez movies where he sometimes plays the kind uncle, and sometimes the badass hero).

Anyhow, this sequel chucks aside 90% of the political commentary and decides Machete is actually a Hispanic James Bond, with a Roger Moore-era 007 plot o’ nuttiness. There’s a shape-changing assassin, cloned super-soldiers, a clairvoyant billionaire industrialist, gadgets, guns, and man-hating hookers with breast-guns. It’s hard to talk about the movie seriously because it wasn’t being serious… it was trying to be nutty and crazy and a throw-back… and it kind of succeeds though I only got into it when the movie just chucked itself at the wall and said “now the kitchen sink!” which might have been Mel Gibson driving a Land Speeder from Star Wars… or it might have been… well… I won’t give the ultimate 007 villain wacky plan away but I certainly did not see it coming.

Score: 72