Migration is a screeching noise jammed into my eardrums and swirled around for extra effect. I really hated this blisteringly unfunny, obnoxious film. And, yeah, I know its for kids but kids deserve better… or at least the random ass adults who go to see kids movies hoping for effort deserve some.

The flick is about birds flying south for the winter. And avoiding a weirdly modeled chef with a black helicopter for some weird reasons. I’ll give it this much credit… Kumail Nanjiani really has a voice for animation.

Fascinating they went for an animated duck, ignoring – or riding the duck-tails of – other more famous animated ducks (and Howard). I guess that takes chutzpah. But it made me wonder why this wasn’t a movie about geese migration… they seem to be more active, noticeable, and famous for their V shaped migratory patterns. But what do I know about fowl? I just have to dance to avoid all the goose shit every Spring and Fall.

Speaking of duck poop… and I hate that I know this and hate even more I had to write this sentence… one of the jokes in the film is that the youngest had to poop but was to shy. When the adults talk, one says the kid has to go “Number 2”. But here’s thing… ducks don’t have separate #1s and #2s… it’s all one ejecta that happens about every fifteen minutes.

Yes, this movie is biologically inaccurate and I’m upset about it. What are we teaching our kids if not the accurate facts about a duck’s cloaca? I’m performatively mad about this. Grr. Argh. See?

That paragraph was more enjoyable than this movie… so I guess I got a little fun out of it. But mainly I got animated screaming in my ears (from both the screen and the bored children in the audience). It’s obnoxious and irritating and I owe Wish and, hell, the Chicken Run sequel an apology.

Score: 58