The biggest problem with Monster Summer isn’t that it’s a children’s horror movie, it’s the misleading advertising. This isn’t a movie about monsters at all… no werewolves, no creatures from black lagoons, no Frankenstein’s whatever, not even a particularly nasty slasher. No, it’s about a witch. I guess a witch can be a monster too… Like metaphorically? Oh, and it co-star Mel Gibson… so your lingering feelings for him might make the title accurate…

The flick takes place in a summer town where a bunch of tweens are suspicious of the cranky old man next door (played by Gibson). And of an old lady in black who moves to town (played by Lorraine Bracco). When one of the kids has a bad encounter while swimming the friends go on a mission to find out what got to him.

Aaaaand… this is definitely a children’s horror movie of the Goosebumps variety… though without the geese or the bumps. Not that I’m a huge fan of the Goosebumps films (or Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark) but there’s definitely a hierarchy and Monster Summer falls on the lower end of it.

Most of its pretty boring for anyone in double digits… I’m sure actual teenagers would rather watch a slasher film, or at least a much harder PG-13 scary movie. It’s probably an ok watch for the tweens though… but this grumpy cuss was just bored.

The film is set in 1998 for some reason… which doesn’t explain the flick’s fascination with MUCH older things. Like a copy of All the President’s Men… you know, the book about Richard Nixon and Watergate. Or during a bike chase scene, one of the characters says it reminds her of Gene Hackman in The French Connection. Wow. So modern. So hip.

I did appreciate the weird level of gun violence at the end of the film. They brought Mel Gibson in for a reason and now I like to think this is what happened to Martin Riggs after retirement. This amused me.

But that was about it. This is certainly not a movie for teens or adults… as if you were in danger of going to see it. Don’t bother.

Score: 68