Monsters of California is a sci-fi movie I should have liked… by law. I like the gonzo philosophies and borderline magical realism it trades in… in theory. But it’s so cheap and amateurish, it gets in its own way at every step.

The flick is about a bunch of ghost hunting teens who mock religion because it’s not scientific enough. I guess they contain multitudes. Anyway, something something government conspiracies and UFOs.

The dialog in this movie is cringe (and I don’t use the word often). It’s borderline childish, like it was written by a very doped up teenager who finally realized, like, space is infinite, man. And also punching your friends in the dick is hilarious. Like… wow… how many pot brownies have I eaten, dude. I got second hand contact stupidity from listening to this dialog.

But add to that a gallon of “you don’t GET me mom” and “your so selfish, mom” kind of dialog that feels like a teenager getting back at his parents without realizing what a dick he’s being. Like maybe the stuff you rewrite once you gain the maturity of a 25 year old.

And then there’s all the space age, new age hokum dialog and voice over you write when stoned. Some of its ok, some of its overly familiar hacky, and some of it would be ok if it was rewritten by that same twenty five year old.

The rest of the film is full of terrible edits and odd shot composition. The budget is noticeably low for what they try to do later in the movie. Like… did they run out of money or was this really what they wanted to film? It’s the kind of cheap that makes me doubt they finished principle photography so they just cobbled together an ending with some more woo woo voice over.

If it weren’t for the ambition, this would be rock bottom. Too bad its the ambition of a baked fifteen year old. Or, apparently, a baked rock star who believes in all the UFO woo and this is his big-brained thesis statement. Like, wow… what if their homes are, like, our UFOs, man.

Score: 60