Dave Bautista didn’t get the memo… all tough guy actors are required by law to make a tough guy/cute kid movie and he and Chloe Coleman got that out of their system with the original My Spy. But the law doesn’t require them to make a sequel… and yet here we are. A tough guy/teen girl-sploitation movie that’s even worse than the original which was already pretty bad.

My Spy 2 opens with Bautista trying to deal with teenagers… and they all get roped into a generic spy storyline that takes itself too seriously. Who are we kidding? Nobody came for the spy plot.

I found this flick agonizingly unfunny… the kind of unfunny where you can see every funny guy and gal trying to make the script work but failing. Kristen Schaal, Ken Jeong, Anna Farris, and Craig Robinson seem to be trying but the results sag.

I suppose Coleman and Bautista have a few good moments here and there. I never laughed but they have a lot of charisma that manages to occasionally shine through.

But mostly the film just chugs along, taking way too long to reach a tedious conclusion. Nothing really works, very little is funny, and it makes me regret seeing the first one in theaters if this is the payback.

Score: 60