So the new movie The Protégé stars Maggie Q as a soulless automaton assassin who…. wait. What? She’s not an automaton? Not a robot of any kind? She’s just a regular human who isn’t burdened with emotions or personality? Huh. Are you suggesting then that the plot isn’t intentionally a soulless repeat of a dozen other movies? And that we were meant to care about anything in it? Huh. Weird.

So, yeah, Maggie Q plays an emotionless personality-free assassin and finder-of-lost-things who goes on a campaign of revenge when her friend and mentor – Samuel L. Jackson – is murdered. There. There’s your plot.

I really hated this movie. I see some decent reviews for it and I wonder if I’m the soulless automaton who just doesn’t understand what the hu-mans make and enjoy. There’s nothing in this movie that’s interesting, original, or creative.

And they completely fell down on the script-writing – and acting decisions – by creating an entire movie where I don’t give a damn about why anyone does anything. There’s so little personality and character in our protagonist that it almost seems incidental that she’s out there murdering people. The movie gives us no life-lines to care about anything so it’s all just going through the motions until we finally – FINALLY – get the cut to credits.

Michael Keaton plays a shady bad guy with (intentionally) mysterious motives. I like Michael Keaton. I didn’t like Michael Keaton in this movie. He immediately shows up looking like Maggie Q’s dad – or even grandfather – and starts to hit on her. And she’s receptive. And I’m thinking… why? And ewww. And the more they quip and flirt with each other, the more gross it gets when Keaton talks and mystifying when Q reciprocates. And some of their allegedly sexy flirty dialog is howlingly bad… and skeevy.

I see very few redeeming qualities in this by-the-numbers action flick.

Score: 58