I hate, hate, hate Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (The Movie) because it’s not the 100% exact identical thing that I watched as a teenager. How dare they not make the exact same thing all over again so I can wallow in safety, assured that nothing can change my little world?

Just kidding. This flick is fine.

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie is based on the recently rebooted Nickelodeon show. The flick starts in the future where an alien menace has laid waste to the Earth. Casey Jones is sent back in time to help the turtles prevent this darkest of timelines.

I haven’t seen this new Rise cartoon and I’ll admit the new art style is off-putting. And it’s weirdly ironic that the turtles now look more like Battletoads than anything else. And I’m suspicious that these mutated ninjas now have mystical powers. That’s not realistic at all! Heh.

But I got used to them and I appreciated that it’s hand-drawn (or looked hand-drawn) animation. My heart grew a half size thinking that, if this reboot series has (quick Google search) two seasons and a movie and didn’t go full CGI, then the kids must be able to appreciate (or accept) classic animation.

This movie is a fine action/adventure superhero kids film. I had a reasonably good time with it. Yes, we learn valuable lessons about leadership and friendship (again) and yes the turtles (and the rest of the gang) kick slightly off-putting animated butt. I was even lightly amused at times and appreciated the introduction of time paradoxes for kids.

It didn’t knock me over but, frankly, that wasn’t its job. Its job was to amuse the new generations… and if it mildly amused a crusty old fart who inexplicably enjoyed the old cartoon (and comics), then that’s just gravy. This is a perfectly serviceable entry… and probably gormlessly amazing to little kids.

Score: 78