Went to see an Old Testament religious movie… a modern retelling of the Samson (and Delilah) story. I went in not expecting much having only maybe seen one trailer months ago… and was modestly surprised by the flick. It’s both sorta well made, pretty good looking, and kind of a hoot, mostly unintentionally.
While the movie is relatively low budget looking, it does a decent job with cinematagraphy and sets. It has some serious problems with smooth editing though so some scenes and moments jumble awkwardly together and the final third is just an editing mess. It jump forward in time, introduces plot elements out of whole cloth, and does a terrible job of creating a believable relationship between Samson and Delilah. You know, kind of an important moment in the story and it’s not remotely sold well.
Sampson is played by a buff newish actor who really tries and if they’d, in turn, tried to hire other actors playing his family that remotely looked like him, that’d have been cool. Rutger Hauer and Lindsay Wagner (!! the Bionic Woman?!) play his parents so that’s weird casting. Even weirder, Billy Zane plays the king of the Philistines… Jackson Rathbone his waaaay overacting super evil son what don’t like Samson so much.
If the movie was an utter and complete disaster, it’d still be worth it just to watch Billy Zane not give a shit about the movie he’s in. He’s genuinely pretty funny playing Billy Zane: here for the paycheck. Three stars… would hire again. This is some serious Burt-Reynolds-in-Dungeon-Siege level of acting here.
Since Samson is kind of an Old Testament superhero, gifted with the ability to kick ass in the name of the Lord, this is ultimately kind of an action flick. Certainly it has the scene of him taking on hundreds of soldiers armed only with the jawbone of an ass… lots of slow-mo modern action movie film making to ensure this dude is basically a superhero. Even has the shot where dozens of men pile onto him and then, with a mighty roar, he stands, sending dozens of men flying. It’s a total cliche but I was amused by it anyway.
I was surprised that the movie was a surprisingly decent time at the theater. I wasn’t bored by it and a lot of it is low-key laughable (unless it’s Billy Zane) but I think they were trying their best to deliver a PG13 wrath of god Old Testament style religious film. I think with a little more money, more logical casting, and a better editor, they’d have had something.
Score: 76