I wasn’t even going to bother with Netflix’s latest SpongeBob movie. I’ve seen two of the films and only a handful of the original series. I was much too old for the show so I have no built up nostalgia. I know the characters, location, and some of the memes but its fair to say I don’t “get” the show or the humor.

But then the rampant wave of half star reviews hit, I was intrigued. Was this movie really that bad? I assumed the viewers were mainly fans of the original cartoon so I was curious why they turned on poor SpongeBob (and Sandy). Or maybe these reviews were from curmudgeonly old assholes like me who don’t get the show or character? Did it have something to do with Netflix or the loss of the original showrunner?

The flick is about how Bikini Bottom is scooped up from the ocean floor and taken to Galveston, Texas. Who else in SpongeBob’s world is from Texas… aquanaught squirrel Sandy Cheeks. So she and SpongeBob ascend to the live action world to rescue their town and friends.

And, yup, it’s really not for me… and I can’t tell if its better or worse than it’s always been. All I know for sure is the manic energy doesn’t amuse me, SpongeBob’s laugh irritates me (which I think it’s supposed to), and the one character I kind of like for the absurdity – Sandy Cheeks – didn’t do much for me either. It’s called the Sandy Cheeks movie and yet SpongeBob and others are along for the ride. Justice for Sandy’s time in the spotlight, I guess?

Some of the loony humans were amusing and I maybe smiled a few times at some of the gags. But this really is just an undiscerning kids’ film so I give it a half star bump for their sake.

I watched it (over the course of a few days) out of morbid curiosity. I’m still unsure if it’s actually a bad movie or if the fans have just grown out of the show and think the movie doesn’t need to exist because the only SpongeBob that matters was from when they were children (like a cranky Gen X Star Wars fan who only loves the Holy Trilogy).

Score: 60