The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a co-production between Nintendo and Illumination… probably with Nintendo having dictatorial creative control so Hollywood wouldn’t turn out something as off-brand as the 1993 live action Mario Brothers movie. So that means a dedicated, slavish adherence to the “plot” and characters of the games… which is to say, no plot of any merit, no characters beyond the basics, and certainly no character growth or complexity. Yeah, this is going well.

It’s just… Mario. And if that’s enough for you, have at it, Hoss. I was left bored by the movie doing nothing to appeal to anyone outside of children or the fanbase. It just serves up exactly what Nintendo has been making interactive for the past forty years.

If the movie produced exciting action or witty humor, then that’d be something. But all the action scenes were pretty rote and unimaginative, just trying to string together Moments You Remember from the games. And I only managed a smirk at a couple of the jokes. The humor and plot feels too scared of offending families… or Nintendo executives (except one random character who spouts existential comments that almost risked being subversive).

This film isn’t horrendous or misguided… it’s nothing more than a safe as safe can be safe video game IP turned into a 90 minute product catalog. No ambition (and likely no creative freedom) to do more than what Nintendo has been doing for decades.

Score: 68