After rewatching the 25th anniversary theatrical release of Titanic, I thought I’d amuse myself (and no one else) by finally giving Titanic 666 a try. “Finally” he says? Well, sure… I saw and laughed at the trailer to this last year, figuring The Asylum was just up to their old tricks again. I put it on the visual TBR pile for a day when I wanted some schlock. Which was today (Valentine’s Day!?!).

And I was disappointed. Titanic 666 is not a good movie, but it’s not the laughable train derailment I was expecting. It actually has a moment or three of decent ghost story stuff – mostly pretty un-scary but with a decent vibe and occasionally ok makeup effects. The acting isn’t half bad, the set decoration is fine, and the special FX are a notch above the usual level of Asylum bad… which isn’t me praising them so much as being disappointed they weren’t laughably worse.

The flick is about the launch of Titanic 3… because Asylum already made a Titanic 2 back in 2010 (who knew?). They bring with them a museum of artifacts gathered from the original wreck. Unfortunately, there’s a witch on board trying to resurrect the vengeful ghosts of the Grand Banks.

It’s a bad movie… you don’t need me to tell you that and you probably don’t need me to tell you not to watch it. If it was a worse movie, you might even want to. As it stands, I’ve seen – and laughed – at worse.

Score: 61