Uglies is a Netflix YA adaptation somehow directed by McG… a man who takes a licking and keeps on filming. It feels ten years too late… it should have been made during the teen dystopian apocalypse that brought us Divergent, Maze Runner, and The Mortal Engines. And yet here we are.

The film posits an Earth that developed a technology to make everyone pretty when they turn 16. Before that you are considered less than and ignored… in other words… a child. But in this film’s fiction: an Ugly. Joey King plays just such person waiting for the time when she talk pretty one day, I guess. But <insert dramatic music here> all is not as it seems.

This film’s casting went like this:
Step 1. Hire all the pretty actors in Hollywood.
Step 2: Lather The Pretties with so much makeup they actually look ugly.
Step 3: Ignore that all the Uglies are played by hot Hollywood actors.
Step 4: Profit?

Yeah, hideous misshapen troll Joey King plays the ugliest of the Uglies, I guess. I mean, she’s not traditionally beautiful by Hollywood standards (he said skeptically) but in a rational world, she’s pretty. But, then again, I’d hate to be on the wrong end of a casting call for actual ugly actresses. But they could have at least tried… I think the worst they did was have her *gasp* wear less makeup.

Anyhow, the whole premise of a super advanced society where pretty people live high on the hog and less attractive (i.e. children) live in a van down by the river (*no, not actually) is pretty dumb. But this is teen YA dystopia where society gets reorganized in whatever way suits the author in order to appeal to their overly-dramatic, emotional demographic (teens). I’m not sure the value of high-minding the logic.

So I was kind of ok with enough of the film within its own self-contained world. It wasn’t great but it was passable and the visuals were alright (if overdone) and I dig Joey King. But the middle is kind of lumpy and the final act is pretty lame with mediocre action and decisions that stretch credulity even for this material. It pretty much falls apart… and then promises a sequel that I’m not looking forward to.

Joey King deserves better, especially after spending 90 minutes being called ugly. There are certainly worse YA dystopias out there but, then again, in a world where Hunger Games exists, they really should be doing better.

Score: 71