Of all the action/spy/comedy hybrids Netflix has burped up over the past few years, I’m surprised The Union wasn’t one of them. Don’t get me wrong, The Union is definitely a Netflix action/spy/comedy… the surprise is that it hasn’t already been made when it feels like it should have been. I mean, it’s got all the usual plot points and stars Mark Wahlberg in his umpteenth direct-to-streaming one of these, and yet it’s new. Or “new” if you want to get all quotation marks about it.

This one stars Wahlberg as an everyman with no discernible skills who runs into his old high school sweetheart (played by Halle Berry). She turns out to be a super spy for The Union, the actual spy agency that gets shit done. She recruits him and together they do indiscernible spy shit.

This action/spy/comedy shouldn’t even star Wahlberg… Halle Berry is the only one of the two that matters. He’s the comic relief and the movie doesn’t really lean into the comedy very much, so he’s really just a tag along with a confused brow furrow. The flick should have leaned harder on the comedy… or ejected it completely.

It’s hilarious they recruit Wahlberg as an everyman with no actual skills or surprise twist. I was thinking he’s be the unknown lynchpin in some deeper storyline… but no, he’s just your “average guy” who got recruited because having him in the credits is better than not.

The actual action/adventure spy stuff is… perfunctory. It gets the job done without any high level of excitement, thrills, or suspense. There is an occasional fun action shooty bit and the final car chase looks pretty and involves pretty cars. But is it remotely better or noticeably more interesting than all the other Netflix spy flicks? Nah.

You could do worse than this movie. I hear taking a hammer to your hand would be a worse alternative. Poking your eye with your thumb? A lot of things are worse than this flick but also plenty of things are a lot better. It needn’t exist since it’s just another one of these low effort, nice vacation movies.

Score: 72