I generally liked the first two Venom films which is why I’m disappointed – but not surprised – the third one came out so wonky. It’s in Sony’s nature to push too hard on their borrowed Marvel characters and screw it up… so while this flick isn’t a disaster, it’s not very good either.

Venom: The Last Dance sends Eddie Brock and Venom on a trek from Mexico to New York by way of Vegas and Area 51. It seems a nebulous bad guy from outer space has borrowed the bad guys from Marvel’s The Eternals (not really) to track down the duo and murder them for reasons they try to explain in a plot that doesn’t matter.

Seriously… there’s a Big Bad who is the biggest nothingburger in all of the Marvel films. He makes the dark elves in Thor: The Dark World seem menacing in comparison. We don’t even see his face, instead hiding behind white locks like he was some of anti-Samara or maybe The Lich King. And his devil dogs are just… I dunno…. big four-legged CGI predators. This movie basically has no villains.

But it also barely has a plot. We spend a lot of time with Eddie and Venom as they bicker and grouse… as usual. But without them, there’s barely a movie so at least thanks for that much. But then they give us some faux sentimentality that sometimes works but most often was an eye-roll. Maybe if you like these two a LOT more than me, you’ll shed a tear? Maybe?

Outside of the duo, there is a plot involving Area 51 that is deeply boring. They chatter about symbiotes and whatnot but, seriously, it’s even more boring than the guff in the first flick. We certainly aren’t here for the big world-ending sci-fi plot… which is for the best since neither is the film.

And most of the film is just full of this tedious military/sci-fi stuff or random encounters with hippies, strange turns in a casino, and a bizarre dance number. Some of it can be amusing in a “what were they THINKING?” kind of way while other bits can be campy fun. Maybe.

The big CGI fight at the end is actually pretty ok. It barely justifies itself with a total lack of villains and a sudden inclusion of heroes who mean nothing and don’t really matter. But some of the punching and kicking and exploding is decent enough fun. I guess.

The Last Dance is the worst of the Venom films but right slap in the middle of the Borrowed Glory of the Sony Spiderman adjacent flicks. It’d have been nice if they took anything seriously or built up more to pay off later. This is a poorly written film that only works a little in the slam bang beat-em-up stuff and somewhat in the Eddie Brock/Venom dynamics. Honestly, if this is the last one… fine.

Score: 74