The Witch is a new horror movie set in 1600s New England that has been getting a ton of positive buzz for being a genuinely disturbing, eerie, and scary movie. So I went to an early showing and I big to disagree, sadly.

The premise is that a very religious (and superstitious) family is too religious for their New England town circa 1620s and they are booted from the village. They set up a farmstead near the creepy wood and the tension-filled music score full of screeching strings informs us that these woods are scary. “Trust me,” they say, “this is very creepy”. This movie tries waaaay too hard.

Anyhow, the baby of the family disappears and the family slowly begins to turn on each other over fears that the Witch of the Wood was involved and one of the family members is in cahoots with her. As a film about a family tearing itself apart over paranoia and superstition, this is a pretty effective movie. The acting is solid and the drama is grounded and real – even if everyone speaks in thees and thous and some have English accents so thick I couldn’t always tell what they were saying.

Unfortunately, this is a horror movie and there are supernatural events going on that I found goofy even though the movie tries hard to assure me they are quite unsettling. I’m sure this will work for some people but not for me. When I wind up chuckling over scene after scene of supernatural shenanigans, something has gone quite wrong. For example, if the dad suspects his twins have been seduced into witchcraft by their evil black goat who might be Satan, probably not best to lock them in a small barn with that goat. Not the ideal plan of action. It made me laugh when it was supposed to be creepy.

Curiously, the end title card says the script is based on actual New England folklore with dialog taken directly from witness accounts and court records. Pardon me if I point out that perhaps the court records of witch trials in the 1600s might not exactly be anyone’s idea of a true account of much of anything. And, in my opinion, it was one of the reason it all felt kind of goofy and almost quaint. Anyone who has read or seen The Crucible will recognize some of the children having paroxysms over supposed witchcraft (inspired by that damn goat).

So, yeah, this movie definitely has a unique vision and has some pretty good dramatic chops… but it fails to develop the suspense and eerie feel that it is going for and, since it’s trying SO HARD to be creepy, that overrides the drama. But apparently it’s working for other people as the reviews and audience response scores are very good. Maybe I’m wrong. Now pardon me while I eye this black goat suspiciously… like it’s up to the devil’s work! ARGH! Killer goat!

Score: 75