Just repeat after yourself “This is not a sequel to the original Wonder Woman movie” and maybe you’ll be able to more quickly get into this movie or forgive its inconsistencies. Because Wonder Woman 84 is very much more of a comic book movie, ejecting the more serious tone, themes, and story of the previous film. It’s also a bit of a mess in its own right… full of hammy overacting, a silly premise, unnecessary villains, a long runtime, logic problems, cringe comedy, and more.

So the film takes place in 1984 (for some reason) and Wonder Woman is covertly (but not very) active in Washington DC while her alter ego works as a curator at the Smithsonian. A mysterious gem is brought to the museum that falls into the hands of Maxwell Lord… which gives him immense power that only Wonder Woman’s strengths can fight. Oh, and Kristen Wiig wastes time as the villain Cheetah (eventually).

This movie is hardly a sequel to the harder-edged previous film. It’s corny, is hammy, it’s vibrantly colored, and the plot with the magic crystal just doesn’t feel like it belongs in the same universe. If you prefer your comic book movies a little more comic booky, then this might be right up your alley. Took me time to adjust and I didn’t quite make the shift, unfortunately.

I will say that this long movie had an ending that was surprisingly good and emotional. If it didn’t stick to the version of Wonder Woman they revealed at the end of the last movie, this movie would have utterly flopped. And that ending does not involve a night-time sky battle with flashing lights and a yelling god… it does something more in line with a Wonder Woman who is about love, compassion, and understanding.

Whether that ending will work for you depends on how much you care that the movie doesn’t have many action scenes. And that the ones it does have are kind of shaky and often unnecessary. In fact, it opens with two action scenes and for 20 minutes of the movie, none of it actually matters to the rest of the movie.

Gal Gadot is back and she works as you might expect. Chris Pine is back as dear dead Steve Trevor and he… well… he gets to be a fish-out-of-water with some bad, cringe comedy and some decent, but abrupt, wonder at how times have changed. But I can’t help but feel he only exists in the movie so Chris Pine can be in it. Not because his character was really necessary. Yeah, they find a script reason for it but it doesn’t hide that he’s just here to check a box.

Pedro Pascal’s Max Lord is a hammy acting embarrassment for the first 2/3rd of the movie. I think he’s so bad we should retroactively not make him the Mandalorian OR the Red Viper on Game of Thrones. Revoke his Genre Guy card. But since he is part of the reason the final act works, I guess I have to give him a pass? Hmmm.

Christen Wiig, on the other hand, is a real problem. Or, rather, her character is a huge problem… she’s fine in it, I suppose. But her character and plot gives off bad comic book movie vibes… it just doesn’t fit the tone or style of the previous DC movies (much less the MCU movies). It reminds me more of something out of The Amazing Spiderman 2 or, god forgive me for saying it, the 80s Supergirl movie. Her character could easily have been removed from the movie but then I guess we wouldn’t get a pointless cat fight near the end of the flick.

I could go on and on but I won’t bother to bore you. This movie is a mess… it’s not without some sequences (and actors) that work. Gal Gadot continues to be fine and the end sequence is pretty good, if you don’t insist on standard comic book action. But there’s so much tonally inconsistent and too much hammy, cringey acting and comedy that it almost kills the movie.

I hope I’m wrong about this and maybe I was just being a Christmas Grinch. Grr. Argh.

Score: 74