Cryptic, obscure, impenetrable… I’m not even sure I can talk about this movie in context of what it is, what it’s about, or even what happens. It’s deliberately muddled, murky, and muffled… not something that I think is intended to be analyzed as a narrative.

The film’s description on iTunes says: “Jericho is an American soldier stationed in post-apocalyptic Rome under a pandemic and war torn lockdown.” Other descriptions don’t suggest this is post-apocalyptic… but they all seem to agree Hawke’s character’s name is JJ (and that he plays a dual role as his brother named Justin). I think. So… if the ad copy can’t even muddle up a coherent sales pitch, what does that mean?

Look, I’m not a dummy but this movie makes me feel like a drooling Neanderthal who had one too many kicks from an angry mammoth. Maybe I needed to be paying closer attention but after twenty minutes of cryptic imagery, I admit to getting distracted by shiny objects. I tried to refocus a bunch of times but nothing was making sense and it was moving at a glacial pace.

I was debating my score and thinking it was going to be low but maybe I’d notch it up a bit under the understanding that maybe it was just my fault for not “getting it”.

But Ethan Hawke sealed the deal for me.

Now, I like Ethan Hawke so its not his performance in the movie that’s a problem. The movie opens with Hawke talking to camera as Ethan Hawke, saying how excited he was to make this movie with Abel Ferrara… and that it’s not a COVID movie (news alert: it is) but, etc. etc.

But it’s the post-credit scene that’s the real problem. Hawke comes back on screen clearly baffled and speechless at what we had just watched. He admits to not getting it and even says the script wasn’t even a script.

This is a deliberate part of the film… not some pre and post B-role they tossed in. Ferrara knowingly placed a puzzled and confused actor from his own film on screen to tell me that he was puzzled and confused. This just seems like deliberate fuck you to the audience.

So a vindictive score or being so upfront about what a waste of my time this was. I’m morally, ethically, and in all other ways offended.

Score: 54